How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Women's rights.

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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An atheist walks into a church

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

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Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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This is a swimmer Joke. Chuck Norris once lapped a kid in the 50 free... LONG COURSE.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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Why was the white man poor? Because he could not hold a stable job for his wife and kids.

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im black

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What did the priest say to the nun? ... I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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