I have a crush on my dad.

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What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic with a family of four and is ruining his life. -Tag

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Why did Suzie fall off her swing? She was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

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Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

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Why does jim never go to McDonalds? his wife got shot there.

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What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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Why is the sky blue? The sun reflects off the water molecules in all bodies of water

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

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Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops