Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

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Hey, why are asians yellow and africans brown? I'm colorblind.

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I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? Because he was dead.

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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Two mooses were sitting in a tree, minding their own business, when suddenly a submarine came flying. "He probably lives here." The first moose said to the other.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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Land Rovers

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Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops