Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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Nicolas Cage's acting.

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He threw it, because he had parkinson's!

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What did God say to Noah? "Hi."

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Dont you guys just hate it when someone puts a stupid joke on anti-joke?

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Why did a duck cross the street? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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What's the difference between Hitler and Kim Jong Il? Hitler's German

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Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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how now brown cow. WTF.

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Niki Minaj's ass

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how did they guy with no legs in the wheel chair walk? he couldnt because he had no legs.

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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Knock, Knock. Come In.

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Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

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Q: What's the biggest difference between a black man and a white man? A: Their skin color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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