What time is it? Ask chuck Norris! Gosh!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?" Brunette: "I don’t know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I am a n1gger.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's faster than a black man with a TV? Light.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your in a building there's no windows ,doors and a sement floors and u only have a mirror and a table how do you get out You look in the mirror see what u saw take the saw saw the table in half two halfs make a hole clime out the hole

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because it escaped from the farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than having amnesia? I don't remember.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Robin, get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

thumb_up thumb_down +8

- How breakdance was invented? - A certain black man was trying to stole rims from moving car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops