I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Bob: why didthe chicken cross the road? Tom: why? Bob: to get to your house Knock knock Tom: whos their Bob: the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar with tears rolling down his cheeks. The bartender asks why are you so blue? The man says he has blue skin disorder and that everyone has been making fun of him...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

hi patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -23

roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a shattered lightbulb? A hazard that should be taken very seriously.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walked into a bar. Ow!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Noticing the apple is oversized and finding half of a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house KNOCK KNOCK who's there? da chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -29

As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whyd the girl fall of her bike? She rode over a curb

thumb_up thumb_down -29

how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops