How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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Hellooooo whos there? Its me fred Fred? A Canadian

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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knock knock. who's there? someone.

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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Butt Sex.

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Q. How did the blind man survive from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died

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Two buissness men had a meeting at 12:00 they had there meeting at 12:00 and left back to there normal life.

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What do you say to Michael and Justin? The Game

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a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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Knock knock, Come in...

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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eloise dey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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