Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

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test

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A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

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Two men are sitting in a pub. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidize her drug habit.'

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So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

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THEY SAY SEEING IS BELIEVING. I NEVER SAW 9/11! 9/11? NEVER HAPPENED -Jonathan

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How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

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What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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What did Anne Frank get for christmas? Nothing Anne Frank is jewish.

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Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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69

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

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Breast cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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