Why was the little boy so bad at the piano? It was his first time playing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

thumb_up thumb_down +44

If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why did little johnny scream. he was getting torn to pieces

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Your mamas so fat. She fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops