What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

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Why did the man laugh when he saw someone using a shake weight? He remembered Dane Cook's stand up preformance from the night before.

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What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

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Roses are black, violets are black, we are all black Shit i'm colour blind

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what do you say to a black man with a Porsche? "hey man, i like your car."

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Two boys were walking down a building which was under construction. Suddenly a brick hits the 1 one in the head while the 2 guys aunt was in America.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

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What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Dylan Hodge likes to lick his mums penis to sleep every night.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

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Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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What did the cancer patient say after the little boy told him a funny joke? I'm dying

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What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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