Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

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What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

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What's funny about 4 black people going off a cliff in a Cadillac? Nothing. You're adopted

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I Love The Music Only Jazz and Blues.

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A muslim walks into a gay bar.

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Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

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Knock, Knock Who's there ? So So who? No, So Lee

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What do you get when you mix black, white, and Asian? A panda bear

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Why did the man drink his own piss? Because he was Bear Grylls

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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Why did the Jew die? Because Hitler was born...

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Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

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Why did the bones cross the road? They didn't, the dogs ate them.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a horrible pedophile and has deeply seeded emotional problems

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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