Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

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"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

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Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Look out there's a bus in front of you

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a child logs on to anti-joke.com and proceeds to post dead baby jokes and jokes with punchlines that suit the build up. i am bitterly disappointed as are all the other fans of anti-joke.com who understand the humor of anti jokes

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a known serial killer.

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Boy: Dad, come here I need to tell you something. Dad: What? Boy: My name is Jeff. Dad: *Grabs shotgun* " I've had with that damn term"

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what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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Q: what is the difference between a baby stroller and a black man. A: I don't try and hit black men when they cross the street.

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why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

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How do you make someone cry Take all of their belongings

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so a dyslexic man sold his soul to Santa

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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I like my coffee the same way I like my woman with big tits I lied about the woman

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what does a pickle and a computer have in common? ... they both have a mouse.

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Two tigers, walking down Oxford St. One turns to the other & says, "Quiet for a Saturday, don't you think?"

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what did the right wing jew say after he was arrested for murder? bt we went through the holocust

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what's retarded and has red hair? You. ;)

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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