How do you scare a 5 year old girl? Stick your dick out.

What do you call a toddler with a gun? Interesting

How many anti-joke fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Or two if it's a really high bulb and you need a second person to hold the ladder for safety.

Snooki want smoosh smoosh

Why did the baby start crying? Its mom slapped it in the face, causing permanent brain damage that would haunt it throughout its life.

A black man boards a plane. He enjoys the rest of the flight in first class.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

Knock knock Come in No you supposed to say who's there Oh, who's there? Jennifer Come in No, you supposed to say Jennifer who Oh, Jennifer who? Forget it

Ham sandwich

One time Chuck Norris cried. He felt slightly better after the experience, but, unfortunately, his grandmother still died of cancer.

A guy walks into a bar. He was an alcoholic and it was destroying his family.

what did one picture frame say to the other? Well you could answer with hows it hanging but thats not logical because they are inanimate

A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

9001

If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

Whats Black and White all Over? Ask Your Mother

What did the dying boy get for Christmas? Presents

Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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