How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

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What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels Why did bobby die? He was hit by a bus

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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You are so stupid you should go to school and get an education so you are able to get a well paying job in this tough economy

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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Terrorist walked into the bar, all dead, except for a small child. The police came and asked the boy: "Boy, how I survived the blast?" The boy answered: "I'm not a boy, I am broccoli"

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What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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how did the man get down the stairs? he walked.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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:O + :P = 69

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink, drinks his drink, and leaves.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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69

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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