What did the Man say to the elephant Nothing this man does not speak, the elephant does though

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I know Mandarin, He's a good friend of mine

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Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

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what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

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How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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"Media Zombies" Sounds like the Nero I remember.

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangeroo??? ... A sheep cannot be crossed with a kangaroo because the genes from sheep cannot work with genes from a kangaroo to produce hybrid sheegaroos or kangareeps.

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What is Freddie Mercury's favorite planet? Earth.

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

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milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

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What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

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A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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