Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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Women's Rights.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A white wall with black and red paint just added onto it recently.

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

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Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

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Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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