Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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Where did the Welsh man work? At an office complex.

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How much does a mexican immigrant get paid? Less an minimum wage.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

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The Bible

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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No it isn't.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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why was the man gay? because he likes men.

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

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Six million.

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Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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