What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

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Woman's rights

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

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What do you call a Mexican from Cancun? A cholo.

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Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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Where's my shotgun

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asparagus

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What's worse than eating a piece of elephant shit? Eating two pieces of elephant shit.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops