Penis-Pump

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

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Women's rights.

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http://anti-joke.com/

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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