Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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Roses are brown I like clouds this joke isn't funny so don't laugh..... Oh an I am trying to get the most dislikes so whatever you do don't like it:(:(:(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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