What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

my mom raped yerr foot

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is big and white, not the moon CC

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a black guy, a white guy, a mexican guy, and a chinese guy jumping out of a plane? Skydivers.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops