Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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what did Barak Obama order at Dunking Donuts. a donut

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

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Why did the Black Man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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Why is America such a great place to live? It's not North Korea.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well neither has he.

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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ha.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

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my computer crashed because i never quit... out of anything

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

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Dear Sarah, Your a damn lesbian! Sincerely Adam Claypool

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Generally one, however, in cases where the light fixture is unusually high, a ladder may be necessary. Some people like having a second person hold the ladder as they climb it. In this unconventional circumstance, it would take precisely two Jews to change a lightbulb. Also, Jews are bad people.

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What do you call nacho cheese? Stolen.

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What did the prostitute eat for lunch? Nothing because she was too busy performing oral sex for money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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