how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's dead? Your mum.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was Timmy sad?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Dick spice

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +25

stop it ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops