what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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Hey, do you want to play the r.a.p.e game ? NO! That's the spirit

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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flip flop chop, clip clop cow, POW. hahahahahah. :).

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

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Justin Bieber

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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what's white on top and black on the bottom? Society

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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