What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What is brown and sticky?

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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World Peace

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Penis!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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