What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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i hate you.

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What should I name my dog?

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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