The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Banana(s)

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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your mother is so lesbian

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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Patrick is gay

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Fuck her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops