My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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i'm hard

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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Pickle

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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