A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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12/23/2012

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? I don't know. I am not in the position, currently, of knowing anyone who finds themselves in such an unfortunate condition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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