Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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were at work systems r down

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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Your mums a potato

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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