What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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A Priest, A Rabbi, and an Imam walk into a bar. They promptly sit down and have a friendly theological discussion.

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Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

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what to call someone thats gay zak

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Michael Brown

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops