Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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