What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

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your mama so old, shes dead.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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A woman walked into a club. Or at least, that's what her abusive boyfriend told the police.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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Do not lose hope, you have always considered me hard to get, while this time, I came to you. Next time too, I kinda owe you.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops