- Anti Joke

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick