Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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