What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops