Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

numbers just make the funniest antijokes

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...