How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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