I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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HAVE A GOOD DAY. DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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The global news

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What's worse than getting AIDS? shaking hands with a liberian doctor. Knock Knock Who's there? Ebola

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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Is Yered a dumbass? YA

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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