don't do anything i wouldn't do first

roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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