What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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Why is this joke funny It isn't

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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