What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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