Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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