Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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