Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

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What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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