Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar, ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

there was once a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops