Why did the man die? He was old.

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

Dane Cook makes a joke.

How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

"Is this the Krusty Krab?" "Yes it is, how may I help you?"

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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