You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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a man checks his mypsace

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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