Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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