What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops