Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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what did the brick say to the other brick? hello. the guy next to the bricks was shocked and went home and killed his wife then later higherd an indian man to give him a lapdance.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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