Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Knock knock knock OCD

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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