A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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i asked my friend about the holocaust... umm it turns out hes a jew yaaa sorry then i screamed califona fire asin tits then ran

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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the economy.

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane a pilot

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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