- Anti Joke

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.