What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock, COME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is white and black and red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops