What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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